Parenting is when you finally qualified as one, you are out of a job.
Concern should be high for home and family because the world turns on the home and the church; but we still need to move out where the action is and mix it up with the society to whom God has called us to minister.
We must have strong personal conviction. For if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. There is no absolute in today's world, everything is taken to be relative.
Josh 1:7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (NIV)
When one generation forgets to teach the Law of God, the next forget!
Jud 2:8 Joshua son of Nun, the servant of the LORD, died at the age of a hundred and ten. 9 And they buried him in the land of his inheritance, at Timnath Heres in the hill country of Ephraim, north of Mount Gaash. 10 After that whole generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation grew up, who knew neither the LORD nor what he had done for Israel. 11 Then the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the LORD and served the Baals. ..........20 Therefore the LORD was very angry with Israel and said, "Because this nation has violated the covenant that I laid down for their forefathers and has not listened to me, 21 I will no longer drive out before them any of the nations Joshua left when he died. 22 I will use them to test Israel and see whether they will keep the way of the LORD and walk in it as their forefathers did." (NIV)
Four Principles of Parenting: (4-stage model)
Principle of Intention (Inward Christian Conviction)
Achieve what you aim for with commitment, correct attitude, habit and priority. Know what is right and doing it. We need to distinguish between cultural and biblical standards!
Psa 127:1 Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. 2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat-- for he grants sleep to those he loves. 3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. (NIV)
Prov 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. (NIV)
Deu 6:7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (NIV)
Principle of Incarnation (Formative Experience)
A child models his values on the environment, i.e., his parents and others around him. Change ourselves to be a graciously truthful person like our Lord and our behaviour, then the children will follow. This can also be known as Principle of Practice, not by lecture but by life.
John 1:11 He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God-- 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God. 14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. (NIV)
Children learn by capturing the reality of Jesus in our life, our value system. No doubt, teaching is also necessary. Our quality of marriage and stability of home are essential for child spiritual and mental growth. We should expose our children to as many significant people as possible.
Instruction
Explain value in biblical basis and don't let our children decide in a value vacuum. The most effective way of instruction is in an informal relationship setting.
Deu 6:20 In the future, when your son asks you, "What is the meaning of the stipulations, decrees and laws the LORD our God has commanded you?" 21 tell him: "We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. (NIV)
Isa 38:19 The living, the living-- they praise you, as I am doing today; fathers tell their children about your faithfulness. (NIV)
Home is the greatest university! Children interpret love and trust from mother and from Father things of this world. We must affirm and be committed to our children, to take an interest in their interest. Are we interested only in our child performance or the person who he is?
Principle of Involvement
A child must act on his values and learn by doing. There are three stages of growing: Dependence Þ Independence Þ Interdependence. Most of us are doing too much for our children. We must get our children involve in caring for others, by doing community service.
Perspective
What you see in your children will come true and largely determine the result. We must be off their back and be on their team. We know we are not perfect, there is nothing wrong in admitting it to your children
2 Tim 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 8 So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, (NIV)
God has given us ability, love and a discipline life, as well as compassion and control. Walk with Christ and we will be given the task of parenting with resource to accomplish it. Take heart.
Book Reference: Heaven Help the Home! by Howard G. Hendricks
Suggestions for Remodeling Your House into a Home:
- Review the status of each family member. Each must be able to believe in himself because the family likes, accepts and trusts him as what he is.
- Check the basic structure. Dad is the head with Mother transparently supporting him and the children sharing in responsibilities.
- Scrutinise family values. Anything other than our Lord is too weak for permanent cohesion. A personal commitment to Christ for each with positive reasons is the key.
- Develop family pride through accomplishment with skill and talent. Plant the seeds with music lessons, hobbies and good books.
- Build up the fun side of the family, be positively constructive. Laughter at mistakes and have recreational pastimes.
- Be positive in our comments and live with relaxed attitudes, not with tension.
- Forgive and forget "even as Christ has forgiven us."
- Provide channels for positive communication and exchange of ideas without condemnation. Remember that communication is most effective by Our Life not Lecture.
- Invite friends home to witness Our Christian Home and Living.
- Expect periodic immaturity and imperfection and deal with them firmly, calmly and with reasonable discipline or reflection. That may include ourselves as parents.
Allow the indwelling Christ to work in you and take over your life. What you are is far more important then what you say.
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